Today was a big day...

• I mailed in my last 2 physical therapy applications! Praise Jesus!
• I interviewed for a part time job.
• I started my part time job at the Academy. (I think I'm going to like it.)

Waking up at 6:45 am on a Saturday only happens for one of two reasons. Insomnia or breakfast with friends. This morning the alarm was set for the latter. Kat was heading out to Tyler for a wedding shower and needless to say the roomies + Linsey #2 were a little saddened. Yes, I know that Kat will be back tomorrow, but it was an excuse for a 'Family Breakfast' complete with Saturday morning cartoons topped off by an episode of Gilmore Girls. It's going to be a good day.

Again, I'll preface this posting by claiming that I am a novice in most everything, but it is quite obvious in my writing. I've been thinking a lot this past year about creativity. Why does my soul long for it and why do I usually deny myself the act of creating. Is it a luxury or is it a necessity? I think it is both. There is something within us that longs for extravagance; that little zing in life. Why else would we be so drawn to the silver screen?

Here's an example of my small attempts to be creative again.My knitting projects are always simple. I started a hat the other day and I got so confused about 20 rounds into it that I stuffed it in my drawer and returned to the familiarity of yet another scarf project. One day I may graduate to three dimensional projects, but today is not that day.

I encourage you to take a little time to do whatever it is that your heart keeps telling you to do. Maybe it's trying your hand at photography again, pulling out that easel or simply decorating your concrete patio with sidewalk chalk. Have at it and let me know how it goes.

Anytime I see the word 'wild' and 'fire' in the same phrase it seems a bit unnerving. I was a little surprised to see this morning how far reaching the fires in Southern California still are.


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Here is a brief article from EuroNews giving an update of the disaster.

California wildfires rage into fourth day
Wildfires are continuing to rage out of control in California, sparking an unprecedented exodus. More than 500,000 people have been forced to leave their homes as hot winds whip up flames across the state. Most of the destroyed homes are in the San Diego area where one person was killed on Sunday. "It's just a lousy feeling. Everybody's uprooted and everybody's emotional and scared. And so am I. When I sit down I'll probably cry," said evacuee Janet Horvath. President George W Bush will visit California on Thursday, after states of emergency were declared in seven counties.
EuroNews

Remember these folks in your prayers today. Take an extra moment today to be thankful for our smokeless sky and warm beds. We don't mean to take everything for granted, but in the face of disaster, we can simply let it spur us on to gratitude and compassion.

Labels: California, News

Five minutes after I posted my last entry, I got a call about the second part time job. I have an interview at Starbucks at 10am on Monday!

God is good. He's good all the time.

Hello again. I have some good news to share! As I shared before, I have been really distressed while I've tried to figure out how to make a living here in San Marcos. While living with this general attitude of worry, I found myself being overwhelmed by things that wouldn't usually get to me. However, in my craziness God continued to speak kindly to me. He kept gently reminding me that He was there with more than enough for me. Over and over he's shown me that it is okay that I don't know how to do life and that I can surrender to Him. It's not safe, but it's good to surrender to Him to steal the words of CS Lewis.

Last weekend I went camping with a superb group of friends in Llano, TX. The Metcalf grandparents spoiled us with good old fashioned hospitality. In one of Grandma Metcalf's magazines, I found this quote that I absolutely love.

In spite of illness,
In spite even of the archenemy sorrow,
One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things and happy in small ways.
-Edith Wharton
A Backward Glance

I was blessed beyond measure this weekend with close friends, glorious weather and lots of love. However, it seems that after the best days I seem to struggle the most with walking out what I believe. Sometimes the old companion Lonliness settles in after a good time with friends.

Neverthless, I woke up on Monday and started the job search again. I found an add in the San Marcos Daily Record. A private school in Kyle is looking for teachers for their after school program. The clincher was the slogan, 'Get paid to play!' I can do that! By the end of the day I had applied, interviewed and been offered the position.

For some reason even after I received the offer, I felt confused and unsure of what I should do. I needed more hours than this job could offer to make ends meet. About 8 last night I went to Mochas and Javas, a local coffee spot, with my friend Katherine. I spent an hour journaling and trying to figure out what to do.

Father, please help me to understand the quality that my life in you will have. I think I have spent many hours trying to fix things in my life that should never be fixed. Perhaps I will have much of my days filled with heart brokenness. Perhaps I will never feel I am adequately making myself good enough for person A, B or C God. Perhaps I will always have more to do. Is it in these things that I am always reminded of the white flag I am waving? I am surrendered. I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do enough or be good enough.

So in this mindset I began to try to work on my applications again. I was still struggling to get anything done. Then a friend of Katherine's stopped by our table on his way home to talk. It turns out his workplace is hiring for 20 hour positions and my availability matches what they are looking for. I applied at his job this morning and I'm waiting to hear back. But that conversation gave me a peace to accept the after school teacher position. All in one day my hope was restored. God has provided yet again. All I could do was give up and at that place he met me with hope and clarity. Beautiful. We have a beautiful God!

I've been spending the last month teetering between completing the applications for 'MY FUTURE' and worrying about my occupation today. Silly me, I know. But, I wanted to share a victory! I have finished my first application and I received this e-mail today...

When you live in Texas, you learn to appreciate the small glimpses of seasons. Our summers last the majority of the calendar year. I like how the air smells a little crisper in the mornings and the sun sets at a different angle making everything look a little more majestic. Beautiful days just seem to be more frequent.

"The leaves are starting to change. They welcome with brilliance the death that awaits them with the oncoming fall. Oranges, yellows, reds, and reluctant greens call from the hilltop and testify to the beauty of life and the inevitability of death."

I'm experiencing the truth of this statement this fall. This season, I'm learning a lot of things about myself. It's funny that the less clear responsibility you have in your days, the harder it is to get everything done. I say this to intro the basic quality of the past couple of months. My summer job is complete, my waitressing job is not paying the bills and my physical therapy school applications are still out. But the beautiful part of it all is that I really have all I need- Lovely friends, good books, job applications and a substitute teaching badge. What more could a girl want?

I have lived my whole life having things quite orderly and clearly planned. These days have been different and although I'm feeling the growing pains of adulthood, I wouldn't trade them for anything. Through it all, I really know God is close. Sometimes it's a little harder to believe all His plans are good, but He hasn't let me down thus far. I'm sticking with my God for a while longer.